Jessi Klein's NotBlog

You know how sometimes late at night, you’re half watching TV, and you’re in your pj’s, maybe you’re doing dishes, maybe you’re just moving things from here to there, seeing how a picture would look on this wall and not that wall, rearranging the sock drawer, and just generally doing the not ready for bed shuffle? These are the moments when something on the tube catches your eye and kind of sinks in deeper than it would have if it wasn’t 2am.  Because you’re a little transparent, a little soft.  Like the pot of overcooked pasta I masterminded yesterday.

The other night I was in this state.  And I’m kind of listening to CNN as I potter about in my insomnia.  And then Larry King comes in, I guess the third replay of the night, and his guest is Jim Carrey.  About whom I know basically nothing except that he’s Jim Carrey.

And what I learn about Jim Carrey, as I gradually migrate closer and closer to actually really watching TV, is that he seems like a very nice thoughtful guy.   I know about him living in a car at some point and that his family was poor and stuff like that, but I don’t know anything about him now.  Anywoop, the rub is:  King asks him about dealing with depression and sadness and hardship.  Which it seems Carrey has had his fair share of.  And then, around 2:33am, I hear Jim Carrey say this:

“I just got to the point where I realized the only way to look at life is to believe that everything that ever happens to you, is the best thing that’s ever happened to you.” [or words to that effect.]

I can’t explain exactly why this immediately got emblazoned on every mental license plate, pillow, bumper sticker and mug that I have in my head, but it did.  Maybe it was the way he said it, maybe it was the time, maybe it was the fact that all my fidgeting and insomnia was clearly the outward manifestation of an inward fidgeting, a slightly askew metabolism…it doesn’t matter.  All I know is I started pouring all the little bumps and bruises through the filter of those words and felt like I saw everything differently.

I know.  Jim Carrey?  Why?  Dunno.   But I now consider him a friend.

It’s a nice little banner to put in your head for 2009. Hurrah for New Year everyone!  Trumpets and yay!  May your new year be peaceful and beautiful and delicious, like the perfect bowl of spaghetti.

On repeat today and highly recommended for anyone who is feeling a bit on the Christmas downside:

CRY LIKE A BABY

Sometimes I crave Aretha the same way I crave a steak.  I feel a little weak, a little shaky, and there’s only one thing sustaining enough, life giving enough to perk me back up.  Ms Franklin is the filet mignon of soul.  Juicy, satisfying, the real deal.

I have still never been to famous Peter Luger in Brooklyn.  But I have a fantasy of going there for the first time and slamming down a prime rib while You Make Me Feel Like A Natural Woman plays on repeat, loud.  LOUD.

I wrote about my love for Mariah Carey’s “All I Want For Christmas Is You” on le Beast if you wanna to read it.

http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2008-12-22/ave-mariah/

It’s kind of an expanded version of the love I gave it here almost exactly a year ago.

sigh.  A nice person just sent me the Love Actually version.  It’s pretty awesome as well.  This song touches way too many pleasure centers.

Happy Holidays!

xo

me

The other night I had the luck to check out Howard Fishman at Housingworks, performing his Basement Tapes Project – a tribute to those randomly scattered, apocryphally collected Dylan songs.  It was positively lovely.  I just checked out his website, upon which he posted a vid of a drop in by (my previously written about fave) Nellie McKay at his Joe’s Pub show from a while back.   “Two Sleepy People.”  It is really, really nice and you can watch it HERE.  It kinda made my Thursday.

I am off to attempt to buy presents for people other than myself.  Oooooh, it’s hard.

I wrote an article about the return of chest hair for The Daily Beast.

http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2008-12-16/the-return-of-chest-hair/

I have done many silly things.  This might be the silliest.

More later.

oh, sigh.

Just saw it.

Too many amazing feelings.

Gogogo.

Lightup keyboard!!!

Thanks to everyone for writing in.  I just went and spent an absurd amount of money getting the lightup keyboard, because I did not realize in adddition to the extra dough there was…whatever.  Doesn’t matter.  Point is, I got it, I love it, and I am never turning the lights on in my house ever again, ever.

God bless you all.

xo

me

So it’s happening.

After five years.

I’m replacing my Dell.

I’ve gotten a Mac.

Sigh.

I have a lot of mixed feelings about this.  But here’s the thing.  So a few weeks ago my friend bought the new Macpro and I had to acknowledge this was a cool looking computer.  It pretty much had tits.  And I really liked the illuminated keyboard.  I know, such a girl.  Sparkley things.  But whatever.  I spend all day writing on this thing and most of the night and it seemed Tron-ish. 

So I assumed all the new macbook models have the light up keyboard.  I bought my laptop and took it home and made sure to get photobooth on there and all the important things working and then waited for dusk for my keys to start shining like birthday candles.

Nothing.  I investigate.  And find out:  the ONLY new Macbook that does not have an illuminated keyboard is the 2.0 gigahertzy one. 

Fuck.  Off.  Mac.  !!!!

This seems like a cheap move.  You’re making a new model!  All your iphones give blowjobs!  Can’t you just screw in a lightbulb under every new keyboard?

So the question is:

Do I: pack up this computer.  Go back to the store.  Pay $300 extra dollars for a twinkly keyboard?  And do I lie and say I just realized I wanted the extra gigashmertz because I’m doing very high powered graphics?  Or do I tell the truth and just admit I’m a chick and I want my laptop to be more twinkley?  Why don’t I just tell them I like unicorns while I’m at it.  There really is no practical purpose to the lightup keyboard but for some reason I feel like if I had it I would be inspired to write a novel in pitch blackness.

Ugh.  This is a very difficult decision.  I already picked out the rock desktop image on the one I have so this is really starting all over if I return it.  If anyone reads this and has literally nothing else to do let me know what you think.