Anxiety Anxiety Anxiety Leaf Pile
I have an anxiety problem. I don’t know how to make it go away. I’ve tried everything. Let’s see if blogging makes it go away. Four sentences in – nope.
I know why I have a kind of generalized anxiety and it’s such a boring story. But it’s been getting worse and worse recently as things come up that pile on more anxiety. The accumulation of anxiety was like the beginning of fall, I didn’t notice it at first; a worry leaf drifting by my shoulder here, a worry leaf floating past my cheek there. You think about getting a leaf blower but then think it’s a ridiculous expense – that’s another worry leaf. And then out of nowhere, I have a massive, golden hued, J Crew Fall Collection catalogue-cover-style leaf pile of anxieties that I take a big flying leap into and flap my arms and legs around in. When I get out of it, leaves and pieces of leaves are still in my hair, still everywhere. It’s hard to get totally out.
Maybe that’s why seeing Paris Hilton losing her shit as she goes to jail was helpful to me. Because it’s a reminder of the value of keeping your shit together. I hate her, but I’m a human being so – well, I really don’t like her. But being in jail is hard and her next few weeks are gonna major suck. But don’t lose your shit in public. Don’t be a mess. Don’t get lost in the leaf pile.
June 10th, 2007 at 9:52 am
Sounds like a case of not just anxiety, but OCD. Nothing wrong with that. As for Hilton? Eh. Karma has a way of working out in the end. Least that’s what I believe.
June 12th, 2007 at 10:12 pm
I thought I was a non-anxious person until I moved to New York to begin grad school. I keep hoping that when I get my license, that muscle in my neck that’s been tense for four years will unclench.
June 17th, 2007 at 12:58 am
I am an acupuncturist, and I think you folks need to visit. Muscle clenched in neck? Get needle inserted there (mostly) painlessly, and watch it de-clench. Take blood mover chinese herb formula like chin koo die shang wan. Anxiety also has clearly established protocols for successful treatment.
Regards.
June 17th, 2007 at 3:32 pm
Dude, you are funny as all get-out. Just spent about an hour reading all these entries. Am so proud that you’re a woman– there are so few of us out there who can really run with the big boys when it comes to comedy. Keep on rockin’, sistah. xoxoxo.
July 24th, 2007 at 6:49 pm
Other Tom’s expertise aside, it’s hard to relax thinking about needles sticking into your flesh. Might I suggest several gin and tonics, followed by the mid-night breaking of the rear passenger side window of an ex boyfriend’s car with a flashlight? That’s what my sister does and she’s as relaxed as a cucumber.
No, I’m not a doctor.
November 13th, 2007 at 11:56 pm
it’s weird. its almost tough to believe that anxiety means the same to a live performer type that it does to a “normal” person. if you really have anxiety, how does it not cripple you in front of a few hundred people on a given night. or is that the point. is it therapy.
its like the old joke where the doctor sais, “then don’t do that.” seriously, if you didn’t perform, would the anxiety go away? janeane garofalo once told me that she felt very frightened in crowds. which was funny because she was telling six hundred other people at the same time. or is it because she was in front of the crowd, not in it. and on a stage, she is only 5’1″. maybe she’s fine as long as she has the stage height bump. i actually almost tripped over her once at Luna.
p.s. they’ve made many advances in anxiety medication since the invention of alcohol.
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