Jessi Klein's NotBlog

I’ll just start by saying that if you’re out there seeing this on my site and thinking “holy fuck, not another douche with a blog-” then you should know I totally understand how you feel.  Even though I like certain blogs, I’m annoyed by the word.  Aren’t we all?  I’m not even sure why I’m so annoyed, but it seems even more annoying to try and figure it out.  So let’s agree this isn’t a blog.  It’s just a place where I’ll put some stuff and if you want you’ll read some stuff.  Because the thing is, I’m really trying to make myself write every single day, and, after many months of waking up early to write, and masturbating instead, this seems like a path worth trying.

And tonight seems like an appropriate night to begin this writing because Pepper Dennis premieres tonight, and if it turns out to be the show I hope it is, I may make this an entirely Pepper Dennis centered journal.  Every week, just a fucking exhaustive analysis of Pepper Dennis. 

So let’s go on this little journey together, shall we?  Come with me, take my hand.  It’s dry, I promise;  but not nearly as dry as Tim Robbins’ hand.  What, Jessi?  What did you say?  You heard me.  Sit back and get ready for a CELEBRITY STORY:  I know this about Tim Robbins’ hand because my friend and I randomly, briefly, met Tim Robbins at a bar a few months ago, who was very nice and shook our hands.  He had the largest, dryest, warmest, most perfect hand-shaking hand ever.  It’s hard to describe, but try this:  imagine the feeling of wearing your favorite worn in baseball glove.   Now imagine it’s made of cashmere.  Now imagine your phone just rang and it’s someone with real authority telling you you just won a billion fucking dollars.  That’s how it felt shaking Tim Robbins’ hand.

When we left, totally unprompted, my friend turns to me and goes, “Was it just me, or did Tim Robbins have the largest dryest warmest hand ever?”  It was undeniable.  Great hand.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, April 4th, 2006 at 11:37 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.